Minecraft - Journey for the Golden Apple
by 666Swagboi666
Summary: Kyle is an average teenage boy. He liked games and girls. One day, he becomes sucked into a game of Minecraft, and is sent on the journey of a lifetime. Rated M for bad language, violence, and sexual thoughts.
1. Chapter 1

Kyle walked home from school one day, talking to his friends, who lived nearby. They talked about the homework they had been given, and other things that teenage boys liked to talk about.

"Bruh, did we have any homework in math today?" asked Kyle as he pulled out his phone.

"Yeah, that bitch gave us a shit ton! Were you even paying attention, dumbass?" replied his friend, who also pulled out his phone.

"Shut the fuck up cunt before I slice you to bits with my diamond sword!" screamed Kyle as he opened up Minecraft: Pocket Edition on his phone.

You see, Kyle and his friends saw Minecraft as a safe haven. When they had problems, Minecraft was always there for them. If they had trouble in school, Minecraft was there to teach them. If they were getting bullied, Minecraft showed them how to stand up for themselves. They all loved to play with each other in their free time, and what they spent most of that said time doing.

"Well, here's my stop. See you later cuckboys!" Kyle yelled as he ran up to his front door. His friends all screamed insults and racial slurs at him as he barreled through the front door upstairs to his room.

Opening his door, he walked into his mess of a room. Trash littered the floor, the walls were peeled, and clothes piled up in the laundry bin. Kyle was a bit of a mess maker, and his room clearly showed that.

"Mom, why isn't my room cleaned like I asked for it to be this morning, you fucking bitch!" Kyle screamed as he threw the door open is a fit of rage.

"Shut up you ungrateful little bastard before I come up there and beat you!" his mother screamed from the kitchen.

Kyle, while being a huge slob, was also a very lazy boy. He never cleaned his room himself, always electing for his mom to do it for him. Kyle was also a very angry boy. He seemed to get mad at even the smallest details. Because of all these traits, Kyle was very disliked by most people. Older people thought he was 'disrespectful' and 'loud', while people his age thought he was a 'loser', and a 'fatass'.

Kyle never really seemed to care about this fact. On top of Minecraft, Kyle would always just dab on the haters, a skill he learned from a wise person he had met while on Minecraft. Thisz helped him deal with all of these people and all of his issues.

"Fucking bitch, I'll deal with her later," Kyle said as he sat down at his computer. "Now, time for some Minecraft!" Kyle pushed the power button on the computer. As the system booted up, Kyle grabbed a bag of chips lying on the floor. He looked at the expiration date. "Expired only by three days, not bad!" Kyle exclaimed as he happily tossed a chip in his mouth.

As the computer finally came to life, he logged in and clicked on the only thing in his desktop: Minecraft.

"Finally, time to relax and get some fucking diamonds!" Kyle announced as he started up a new game. As he started up the game, something seemed off to Kyle. "Where the fuck is my hand?" Kyle questioned as he clicked around the screen, looking for an answer.

While trying to fix the problem, some text appeared at the bottom left corner of the screen.

"'Do you like Minecraft, Kyle?' What the fuck, who wrote this?" Kyle exclaimed as he read the text off the screen. "Yeah, I do like Minecraft, who doesn't? It's the best fucking game on this planet!" Kyle typed out into the text bar and pressed enter.

"What do you think of actually being in a game of MInecraft?" The screen wrote out as more text appeared.

"That would be dope as fuck!" Kyle wrote into the chat box.

"Excellent! Now hold on to your hat, because it's going to be a bumpy ride!"

Kyle read the question and said outloud, "What the fuck does he mean by bumpy ride?" As he questioned this statement made by what he assumed to be the game, his body started to feel weird. "What the hell, what's going on?" Kyle asked to himself as his vision started to become blurry. As he looked down, he noticed that his body was starting to become transparent. "What in the fuck? Am I going bonkers, or am I actually disappearing?" Kyle questioned to himself. "Hey Mom! Get your ass up here and tell me if there is something wrong with me!"

"Okay you fucking brat, I'll be up there in a second!"

"Oka-" Kyle went to say until he fully disappeared as a mist seemed to be sucked into the computer screen. As this happened, a new text appeared on the computer screen.

"The prophecy is finally set in motion. Will this boy be able to save us from destruction?"

After that came a text came up announcing the arrival of a new player.

"Kyle has joined the game."

Kyle's mom never was able to see if anything was wrong with her annoying little bitchboy of a son.


	2. Chapter 2

As Kyle came to, he found himself in a place completely different from his room.

"What the fuck, where am I?" Kyle questioned as he looked around the unknown place he was in. The place seemed very different from his home. Everything was square shaped, even the ground. There were sheep grazing the open fields, with a couple of pigs scattered around.

Even though it was his favorite game, Kyle was a bit of a retard, so it took him a little bit to figure out where he was.

"Holy fucking shit! I'm in Minecraft! How the fuck did I get here?" Kyle babbled on and on excitedly, as he was in what he considered to be the best game ever. This would have gone on for much longer, if not for the person calling out to him.

"Who is that over there?" a voice questioned as he listened to Kyle scream like a dumbass.

"The fuck, there are other people in Minecraft too?" Kyle asked himself as he finally stopped his screaming.

The person was now finally visible in Kyle's vision. He seemed to have dark blue pants, and a light blue shirt. Like the world Kyle was now in, this person was squared shaped as well.

"Holy shit, is that Steve?" Kyle questioned the man before him as he ran towards the man.

"Yes, I am the man known as Steve? How do you know my name? Are you a fucking rapist?" Steve nervously asked as he backed away, as the boy was in his private space.

"No, I'm not a fucking rapist, you dumbass! I am the man who controls you and make you do the things that you do!" Kyle said to Steve as he smirked.

"You're fucking delusional kid, no one controls me except for me." Steve told the boy as he reached his hands into what seemed to be a chest.

Kyle realized what Steve was doing, and asked if he could do it as well. He tried as best as he could, imagining his very own inventory. This worked, and Kyle's inventory appeared in front of his huge head.

"Holy shit, my own inventory!" Kyle exclaimed as he looked through it. "What the fuck, why don't I have any items?"

"You have to collect them yourself, dumbass." Steve told the boy as he finally found what he was searching for.

"Don't call me a fucking dumbass, you blockheaded piece of shit! I'm the reason you're even alive! You should be bowing to me!" Kyle angrily screamed in Steve's face as he pulled out what looked like a weapon. "Oh my fucking god, you only have a wooden sword? You're a fucking joke! If I were you, I would already have five diamond swords!" Kyle boasted as he laughed hysterically, much to Steve's anger.

"Shut your mouth you fatass before I fucking beat you down with this piece of wood!" Steve screamed at Kyle, spittle coming out of his mouth.

"You wish you could kill me, stupid fucking man! I'll beat you down with my bare hands! I'm a black belt in Tae Kwon Do." Kyle lied through his teeth, trying to get Steve to calm down.

Kyle was not a black belt in anything. The boy could not even get a white belt if he tried, even with it being the first belt given. This lie was used by Kyle many times before. He used it whenever he made someone angry with his shit talking and never ending racial slurs.

"What the fuck is a Tae Kwon Do?" Steve questioned as he let his guard down. Kyle used this opportunity to clumsily run at Steve, hoping to beat him and take the wooden sword for himself.

"I'm going to beat the shit out of you, you fucking cracker!" Kyle screeched as he sprinted as fast as his three-hundred fifty pound body could carry him. This did not work out for him, as he tripped over his feet, falling flat on his face right in front of Steve.

Steve found this amusing and began to chuckle, much to Kyle's embarrassment.

"Don't laugh at me!" Kyle howled as his face became as red as a tomato from the physical activity he had just done.

Steve finally began to stop laughing and looked at Kyle, who laid on the ground, exhausted. "Okay kid, are you finally done throwing a hissy fit?"

Kyle seemed to mumble an angry yes at the man who beat him without moving a muscle.

"Okay, now that you're done, I can show you how to survive in this world."

"I don't need help from you, bitch!" Kyle screamed as he finally pulled himself off the ground.

Kyle walked over to a tree and began punching it. After a couple of punches, the tree finally fell apart, wood flying to Kyle's inventory.

Seeing this action take place, Steve's eyes widened as he looked at the boy in a a new light. "Is the boy talked about in the prophecy?" He questioned quietly to himself as he watched Kyle hurt his hand and scream inappropriate slurs and curses at the tree.

He walked up to the boy, and told him in the most serious voice he could muster, "You need to come with me."

Kyle looked over at the man, whose change in attitude caused confusion in Kyle's tiny brain. "Why do I need to come with you? I told you that I don't need your help already, you fucking cuck."

"That's not what this is about. This could affect all of this world and your life."

"Okay, I'll come with you! Jesus, what the fuck crawled up your ass?" Kyle questioned the man as they started walking in one direction. "Where the fuck are we even going to?"

Steve turned around and told the boy exactly where they were going. "We are going to the Village to see if you are the boy of the prophecy."

Kyle could only say two sentences after he heard this. "The fuck are you talking about, prophecy? This is fucking Minecraft, not World of Warcraft, dumbass."


	3. Chapter 3

The two walked a long distance, at least what Kyle seemed to think was a long distance.

"What the fuck are you doing, Kyle?" Steve asked as he looked back at the boy who was on his hands and knees, gasping for air.

Because Kyle was a very lazy boy, this caused his athletic abilities to plummet, which made it very hard for him to walk long distances or do anything physical.

"Shut the fuck up cunt, I'll fucking beat you and feed your corpse to an enderman!" Kyle shrieked as he got up as fast as he could, which was not very fast because of his weight.

Steve rolled his eyes, already used to Kyle's excessive use of bad language, and sometimes very racial comments.

"Come on fatass, the village is right over this hill. They might even have some bread for you."

This statement seemed to energize Kyle, who was exhausted, and would do anything for food. He got up much faster than normal, sprinting past Steve, who smirked as he realized what would make Kyle do something.

As Kyle reached the top of the hill, the village came into view. It wasn't big compared to Kyle's town, but was big enough to at least fit a whole village of, what Kyle considered them to be, useless people from a third world country. As Kyle ran down the hill, he tripped over a block, causing him to stumble down the hill.

"Fuck!" Kyle yelled as he fell down the hill. The villagers, hearing this obnoxious screaming, exited their houses, curious to see what all the commotion was.

"Who is making all that noise?" an older villager asked as he came towards the edge of the village, where Kyle had just landed.

"It's this fatass right here, George." Steve, who had just come down from the hill, informed the older man.

As the villagers went to investigate the boy, Kyle suddenly stood up, screaming at the top of his lungs, "Give me food you fucking assholes!"

This seemed to anger the villagers. The older villager, George sternly, told Kyle "Do not talk to us that way! You are a stranger that we have never met, why should we be obliged to give you food?

Kyle, who had not eaten since that one stale chip, roared, "Shut the fuck up you penis faced cunt sack before I stick my foot so far up your ass you won't even be able to walk!"

Steve, who realized he would need to step in to stop something from happening, told both the people, "Both of you shut the fuck up before I put you in the ground. I brought Kyle here for a reason George, I need to confirm something.

This seemed to calm George down, but Kyle who did not understand what was going on, seemed to get angrier. "Bruh, give me some goddamn food before I fucking starve to death, you fucking assholes!" Kyle screamed.

Steve, who was tired of listening to Kyle scream for minutes on end, pulled out his wooden sword, and literally put Kyle into the ground.

As Kyle pulled his head out of the dirt, Steve told the immature boy, "If you don't shut the fuck up and stop yelling right now, I will actually cut your penis off and make you eat it."

This seemed to shut Kyle up, and also back away from Steve. Steve took this as a cue to turn back to George, saying, "This boy was able to break the tree with just his hand. I believe that this is the boy from the prophecy, and I want to confirm."

The villagers, who had been whispering while watching, all quieted down on hearing this. The prophecy was a very serious subject in the village, and if this boy was the one from the prophecy, then they wanted to take this seriously.

George told the man and the boy to follow him. As they followed him, he led them to a house near the other end of the village.

The three people entered the house. It was dark, with no torches. In the middle of the building stood one single pedestal with an opening book on it.

"The fuck is this place? Looks like a fucking haunted house." Kyle questioned as they walked towards the pedestal in the middle.

"This is the sacred prophecy house. This is where we keep our sacred prophecy" George told the boy with a straight face, as if he didn't understand that the second phrase was completely redundant.

George continued explaining what the place was, saying, "The prophecy was given to us many years ago by a sorcerer. We believe it to be the telling of an evil being's rise, and of the hero saving us from said evil being."

"Okay," Kyle said, "but what does this have to do with me?"

"The prophecy will answer your question. Go on, read it." George said as he encouraged the boy forward.

Kyle walked up to the book seeing the text. He decided to read the text outloud, saying

 _The hater will rise,_

 _But in a cave near the cart,_

 _The golden apple lies,_

 _To give the hero the power to outsmart,_

 _The hater will be on the brim,_

 _And the hero will then dab on him._


	4. The End

**Time Skip (Four Days)-**

After reading the prophecy, Kyle and Steve decided to set off to find the golden apple of the prophecy. They packed up food given to them by the villagers. Kyle took the opportunity to stuff his face in while packing the food.

Before they set off, the villagers walked with them to the end of the village. George gave Kyle a stone sword to defend himself against any mobs.

Steve and Kyle then left the village, looking for any caves or ravines. They walked for a couple of hours, finding themselves at the entrance of a gigantic cave, which is where they find themselves currently.

"Fucking hell, all of these goddamn cobwebs are gonna give me AIDS," Kyle stated as he slashed through them with his sword.

"For real, if I see any of these fucking eight legged inbreds, I'll make sure to gouge out their eyeballs," Steve told Kyle menacingly as he gave him a dark smirk.

After making it through the cobwebs, Kyle and Steve found themselves at what seemed to be a railway.

"Fuck yes, we found the mineshaft!" Kyle cheered as he ran ahead of Steve.

"Get back here you fucking bitch before I show you an actual shaft!" Steve screamed at the fat boy as he ran to catch up with him.

As Steve caught up with Kyle, he noticed that the boy was frozen in place. His eyes were wide, and he seemed to be staring at something in front of him.

"Hey fuckface, what are you looking at?" Kyle answered Steve's question by putting ahead toward a pedestal.

Looking at the pedestal, Steve noticed an apple lying there. This wasn't any regular pleb apple, Steve noted, as he saw that it seemed to glow yellow.

"Holy shit, it's the golden apple the prophecy was talking about!" Steve exclaimed as Kyle ran toward it, shoving it in his mouth.

"You dumbass! Why the fuck would you eat that? We probably need it to defeat a big mob or something!" Steve roared in Kyle's ear as the latter finished eating the apple.

"I know dumbass, I ate because of who was in front of us."

Steve froze, he hadn't thought to look ahead of the pedestal. As he glanced up, he saw two glowing white pupils looking back at him, seemingly staring into his soul. "Fuck, it's Herobrine! He must be the hater!"

Herobrine whipped his head over toward Kyle, who had just seemed to gain the affects of the golden apple.

Kyle grew in size, his fat seemingly sucked back in his body. His muscles grew to be as big as a basketball, and as thick as a tree. He was basically ripped and totally different from the fatass version of himself.

Noticing these changes, Kyle grinned as he threw himself toward Herobrine. He went to stab Herobrine with his stone sword, but he easily dodged the attack, smacking Kyle in to a wall.

With Kyle down for a while, Herobrine looked toward Steve, sprinting toward his original to attack him. He threw Steve onto the ground and went to finish him.

Before he could though, Kyle came flying out of the wall stabbing Herobrine with his sword. Herobrine fell to the ground, seemingly dead. 

Kyle picked Steve up and glanced at Herobrine. "That was easy, but what about the dabbing part of the prophecy?" Kyle questioned as they walked toward the exit of the cave.

Kyle's question was answered as Herobrine landed in front of them, blocking the exit.

Herobrine then threw himself on both of them, stabbing them both in one leg with two swords that he had on him.

As they lay there on the ground, about to be finished off, Kyle realized what he needed to do, looking back on his question.

"Fucking bitch, no one kills me except for me!" Kyle screeched as he then proceeded to DAB on Herobrine.

The cave was then filled with a flash, and as it went away, Kyle and Steve noticed that Herobrine had disappeared, leaving only his swords behind.

"Holy shit, these are diamond swords!" Kyle yelled as he examined the swords. They then proceeded to walk out of the cave, limping on each other for support, having been stabbed. Kyle's wounds healed fast, thanks to the golden apple, but Steve was still weak from the wound, so he had to be carried.

They arrived at the village a few days later, surprising the villagers with Kyle's transformation. Kyle proceeded to rub it into George's face, causing him to get thrown into an iron golem.

The villagers then threw a celebration for them defeating Herobrine and completing the prophecy.

As night came, only Kyle and Steve were awake. Kyle then began to glow, cutting off their conversation.

"Looks like that bitch that sent me here is sending me back," Kyle stated as he looked at Steve.

"Thank God, you were an annoying little bitch," Steve exclaimed as he fell to his knees, thanking the gods.

"Fuck you bit-" Kyle went to say before he was cut off, being teleported back to his world.

Kyle opened his eyes to find himself back in his room. It was much cleaner now, showing that it had at least been a couple of days, and his mom had cleaned it.

"Mom, I'm back!" Kyle yelled as he barreled down the stairs toward the kitchen, where his mom was cooking food.

"There you are you fucking brat, you almost got me arrested!" His mom screeched as she proceeded to beat him with a rolling pin.

This carried on until morning, when Kyle had to go back to school. He then found that he still had his new body, which attracted many ladies, making him popular. He then proceeded to fuck them all in the bathroom, enjoying his new life that Minecraft had given him.

The End.


End file.
